Give and Take

Author: Adam Grant Created time: March 13, 2021 6:21 AM Page No.: 384 Progress: ⭕

Points

Giver Vs Taker

When takers win, there’s usually someone else who loses.
- Research shows that people tend to envy successful takers and look for ways to knock them down a notch.
- Takers tend to be self-absorbed, they’re more likely to use first-person singular pronouns like I, me, mine, my, and me —versus first-person plural pronouns like we, us, our, ours, and ourselves.
- In the computer industry, when talking about the company, on average, 21 percent of CEOs’ first-person pronouns were in the singular. For the extreme takers, 39 percent of their first-person pronouns were in the singular. Of every ten words that the taker CEOs uttered referencing themselves, four were about themselves alone and no one else.
- The taker CEOs earned far more money than other senior executives in their companies. The takers saw themselves as superior, so they felt entitled to substantial pay discrepancies in their own favor.
- In the computer industry study, when taker CEOs were at the helm, firms had more fluctuating, extreme performance, as measured by total shareholder returns and return on assets. They had bigger wins, but bigger losses. The takers were supremely confident in their bets, so they swung for the fences. They made bold, grandiose moves, which included more and larger acquisitions, as well as major upheavals to company strategy. Sometimes these moves paid off, but in the long run, the takers often put their companies in jeopardy.
- Giver and Taker On the left side is giver right side is a taker. For the taker CEOs, it was all about me. A big photo is self-glorifying.
When givers win, people are rooting for them and supporting them, rather than gunning for them.
- Givers succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of people around them.

Networks come with three major advantages: private information, diverse skills, and power.

By developing a strong network, people can gain invaluable access to knowledge, expertise, and influence.

At some point in your life, you’ve probably experienced the frustration of dealing with slick schmoozers who are nice to your face when they want a favor, but end up stabbing you in the back—or simply ignoring you—after they get what they want. This faker style of networking casts the entire enterprise as Machiavellian, a self-serving activity in which people make connections for the sole purpose of advancing their own interests.
When people get burned by takers, they punish them by sharing reputational information. Gossip represents a widespread, efficient, and low-cost form of punishment. When reputational information suggests that someone has taker tendencies, we can withhold trust and avoid being exploited. Over time, as their reputations spread, takers end up cutting existing ties and burning bridges with potential new ties.

Storys

Early in 1994, five years before seeking Spencer’s help, Rifkin became enamored with an emerging band. He wanted to help the band gain popularity, so he put his computer prowess into action and created a fan website, hosted on the Caltech server. “It was an authentic expression of being a fan of music. I loved the music.” The page took off: hundreds of thousands of people found it as the band skyrocketed from anonymity into stardom.

Meaning

Lekking - Ritual in which males show off their desirability as mates.

When it’s time to breed, they gather in a commonplace and take their established positions. They put on extravagant displays to impress and court female audiences. Some do mating dances. Some sing alluring songs. Some even do acrobatics.

Quotes

It’s easier to win if everybody wants you to win. If you don’t make enemies out there, it’s easier to succeed. — Randy Komisar

If I have one vice, and I can call it nothing else—it is not to be able to say no! — Abraham Lincoln

Being a giver is not good for a 100-yard dash, but it’s valuable in a marathon. — Chip Conley

A service provider. Entrepreneurs are not here to serve venture capitalists. We are here to serve entrepreneurs. — David Hornik

My default is to give, I’m not looking for quid pro quo; I’m looking to make a difference and have an impact, and I focus on the people who can benefit from my help the most. — Sherry and Please

Above all, I want to demonstrate that success doesn’t have to come at someone else’s expense. — David Hornik

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. — Martin Luther King Jr.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. — Samuel Johnson

If we create networks with the sole intention of getting something, we won’t succeed. We can’t pursue the benefits of networks; the benefits ensue from investments in meaningful activities and relationships. — Wayne Baker

Social networks have always existed, It is only recently that the Internet has provided a venue for their electronic explosion. . . . From mundane communication to meeting the love of one’s life to inciting political revolutions, network ties are the conduits by which information and resources are spread. — Science

It’s better to give before you receive. — Keith Ferrazzi

When you meet people you should be asking yourself, ‘How can I help the other person? — Guy Kawasaki