Hell Yeah or No

Hell Yeah or No

Author: Derek Sivers Created time: April 13, 2021 7:14 PM Page No.: 132 Progress: ✔️

A collection of thoughts around re-defining yourself, changing focus, and saying yes to less

What I am going to to do after reading it?

• Focus more on my global friends.
• Start comparing to my old self not other people.
• Start saying everything is my responsibility.

Points

• Business points
  • Local Vs Global
  • If you’re local, you focus on your community, doing things in-person. But this means you have less time to focus on the rest of the world.
  • If you’re global, you make things for the whole world. But this means you have less time to be part of your local community.
  • Many things we think are true are really just our local culture. We can’t see it until we get outside of it.
  • Job Vs Art
  • Do something for love and something for money. Don’t try to make one thing satisfy your entire life.
    • Each half of your life becomes a remedy for the other. You get paid stability for part of your day, but then need creative time for expression. So you push yourself creatively, expose your vulnerable art to the public, feel the frustration of rejection and apathy, and then long for some stability again. Each half is a remedy for the other.
  • About the job: Be smart, and choose something that pays well with a solid future. Look for statistics in your area about what pays the best when factoring in the required training. You’ll probably need to study for a few years to build up the rare skills that are well-rewarded. This is a head choice, not a heart choice, since you’re not trying to make your job your entire life.
  • About your art: Pursue it seriously. Take lessons. Make weekly progress. Keep improving, even if you’ve been doing it for decades.
  • How to get inspiration?
  • Nothing is truly inspiring unless you apply it to your work.
  • Your work, itself, is the inspiration.
  • Inspiration is not receiving information.
  • Inspiration is applying what you’ve received.
  • How to start?
  • Before you start think about how it could end.
  • If you love something copy it. Nothing is OG.
  • You need to be free to completely change or ditch your idea.
  • Then you get your first paying customer. Provide a one-on-one personal service. Then you get another paying customer. Prove a real demand.
  • What don't do?
  • Holding on to an old title gives you satisfaction without action. But success comes from doing, not declaring.
  • Use title if you are really doing that.
  • Don’t announce anything.
  • Don’t choose a name.
  • Don’t make a website or an app.
  • Don’t build a system.
  • What comes with business?
  • You can't do everything you have prioritize somethings only.
  • To make money you have to let go your freedom.
  • Be honest to yourself what you want to pursue.
  • But when you go against the stereotype, people get confused. Ex: The entrepreneur who’s not into money.
  • You first action wasn't most honest but it's answer that you came up instead of thinking deep.
• Socialize
  • Little steps can make lot of difference.
  • Avoid anyone who doesn’t rejuvenate you. They’re not allowed in my life right now, not even for a minute. No big explanation needed. No compromise. No favors.
  • Like blocking this things: Social media comments, Distracting environments, Discouraging family members & Your email inbox.
• Effect of decisions
  • Three things to consider when making life-size decisions.
  • What makes you happy
  • What’s smart — meaning long-term good for you
  • What’s useful to others
  • Smart and useful (but not happy)
  • Smart and useful isn’t bad. It’s rational, like a machine. But happiness is the oil. Without it, the friction kills the engine.
  • This is the stereotype of the strict parent who says, “You will go to the best school, get perfect grades, get a degree in law or medicine, and make lots of money. What you want does not matter. This is what’s best for you and your family.”
  • Happy and smart (but not useful)
  • They look for “passive income” instead of focusing on doing something that’s really valuable to others.
  • This is the stereotype of the “lifestyle design” or self-help addict: always learning, always improving, and obsessively focused on how to be happy and create the perfect life.
  • Happy and useful (but not smart)
  • But if a graduate’s time could be worth $200 per hour, yet they’re doing work that locals could do better for $10 per hour (and without airfare and hotels), then they’re actually doing a disservice to others.
  • This is the stereotype of charity volunteers. After getting expensive university degrees, they spend years flying to exotic impoverished places to dig wells and thatch roofs.
• Self Points
  • How to learn?
  • Learning without doing is wasted.
  • It doesn’t matter if it’s a masterpiece or not, as long as I enjoy it.
  • What to do change your mindset?
  • Doubt what I know. Stop the habit of thinking I know it. Require current proof that it’s still true today. Otherwise, let it go.
  • Sometimes the world is the same, but my situation has changed. What got me here won’t get me there.
  • Old ways don't work anymore. You have to change see beyond your tunnel view. Solution: The solution is deliberate unlearning.
  • Don't pursue someone else dreams instead pursue your owns.
  • For example, if you want to make a lot of money, you need to admit that. If you want to be famous, you need to pursue that. If you want freedom and no responsibilities, or want to learn as much as possible, or whatever else, you need to realize it and embrace it.
  • Be careful when you say you like or dislike something, because you could change your mind soon.
  • I have to smile, thinking about what my former self would say. But the former self is not always right. We shouldn’t preserve our first opinions as if they reflect our pure, untarnished, true nature. They’re often just the result of inexperience or a temporary phase. Old opinions shouldn’t define who we are in the future.
  • Instead of comparing up to the next-higher situation, compare down to the next-lower one.
  • If you aim to buy “the best” thing, you may feel like gold when you get it, but when the new “best” thing comes out next year, you’ll feel that silver envy. Instead, if you aim to buy the “good enough” thing, it will keep you in the bronze mindset. Since you’re not comparing to the best, you’ll feel no need to keep up.
  • Trying to be the best at a specific skill, it’s good to be dissatisfied.
  • Ego
  • Ego is the unhealthy belief in our own importance.
  • I feared releasing something unimportant, so I didn’t release anything at all.
  • Actions, not words, reveal our real values.
  • Smart & Stupid
  • Being smart means thinking things through. It means trying to find the real answer, not the easiest answer.
  • Being stupid means avoiding thinking by jumping to conclusions. Jumping to a conclusion is like quitting a game. You lose by default.
  • So when someone says, “They’re so stupid!” it means they’ve stopped thinking. They say it because it’s satisfying to jump to that conclusion.
  • How to overcome comfort zone?
  • When you’re scared to talk to someone intimidating. You notice you’re scared. Whatever scares you, go do it.
  • Once you do something that scared you, you’re not scared of it anymore! As you go through life, doing everything that scares you, you fear less and less in the world.
  • Think you are below average.
  • Thing people get wrong.
    • Ninety-six percent of cancer patients claim to be in better health than the average cancer patient.
    • Ninety-four percent of professors say they are better-than-average teachers.
    • Ninety percent of students think they are more intelligent than the average student.
    • Ninety-three percent of drivers say they are safer-than-average drivers.
  • Assume I’m below average.
  • It serves well. I listen more. I ask a lot of questions. I’ve stopped thinking others are stupid. I assume most people are smarter than me.
  • Thing it is your fault.
  • When you forgive, you’re still assuming that they’re wrong and you’re the victim.
  • But to decide it’s your fault feels amazing! Now you weren’t wronged.
  • People were just playing their part in the situation you helped create.
  • Now you’re the person who made things happen, made a mistake, and can learn from it.

• Productivity

  • Step to improve
  • That one little action changes how you think about yourself.
  • Having taken that one step, you start to think of yourself as brave, or an achiever, or a bit of an expert on a subject.
  • You do just one thing that makes you feel generous, so you start to act generous, so you become generous.
  • You do just one thing that makes you feel like a leader, so you start to act like a leader, so you become a leader.
  • The world treats you as you treat yourself. Your actions show the world who you are.
  • You won’t act differently until you think of yourself differently. So start by taking one small action that will change your self-identity.
  • Goals
  • If it was a great goal, you would have jumped into action already. You wouldn’t wait. Nothing would stop you.
  • The purpose of goals is not to improve the future. The future doesn’t exist.
  • Judge a goal by how well it changes your actions in the present moment
  • You have to optimize for one main goal and have to let go others.
  • If they really wanted to do it, they would have done it.
  • Stop lying to yourself, and admit your real priorities.
  • Start doing what you say you want to do, and see if it’s really true.
  • Present-focused people & Future-focused people.

  Present-focused people

  1. Pursue pleasure, excitement, and novelty
  2. Focus on immediate gratification
  3. Especially appreciate life, nature, and the people around them
  4. Are playful, impulsive, and sensual
  5. Avoid anything boring, difficult, or repetitive
  6. Get fully immersed in the moment and lose track of time
  7. Are more likely to use drugs and alcohol
  8. Are better at helping others than helping themselves

  Future-focused people

  1. Delay gratification
  2. Are driven with self-discipline because they vividly see their future goals
  3. Tend to live in their minds, picturing other selves, scenarios, and possible futures
  4. Especially love their work
  5. Exercise, invest, and go for preventative health exams
  6. Are better at helping themselves, but worse at helping others
  7. Are more likely to be successful in their careers, but often at the expense of personal relationships, which require a present focus
  8. No & Yes

  No

  1. It’s an easier decision. Say no to almost everything. This starts to free your time and mind.
  2. Then, when you find something you’re actually excited about, you’ll have the space in your life to give it your full attention.
  3. Saying no makes your yes more powerful.

  Yes

  1. It’s good to say yes when you’re starting out.
  2. Wanting any opportunity, or needing variety.
  3. It’s bad to say yes when you’re overwhelmed, over-committed, or need to focus.
  4. Most of effort wasn't effort at all but just an unnecessary stress.

Meaning

Stupid - Avoiding thinking by jumping to conclusions. Jumping to a conclusion is like quitting a game. You lose by default.

Smart - It means trying to find the real answer, not the easiest answer.

Long term - Do just one thing for a few years, then another for a few years, then another.

Short term - assuming that if you don’t do all the things now, they won’t happen.

Stories

One day, I wrote a blog post sharing what I had learned while switching between the PHP programming language and Ruby on Rails framework. At the time, my blog had no readers, so I didn’t think anyone would see it. I just wrote it for the record.

But when I woke up the next morning, my post was all over the tech news sites, and it was like I had insulted everyone’s religion. There were over a thousand comments saying that I was a complete idiot and a terrible programmer.

At first I was upset and insulted, like anyone would be. Then, luckily, something switched in my head and I realized the most important point: They weren’t talking about me. They were talking about a cardboard cutout that looked like me. A little online avatar that has the same name as me, but is not me.

I couldn’t be offended when they said I was a terrible programmer, because they had never seen my code. I couldn’t be offended when they said I was an idiot, because they didn’t know me. They had read a few paragraphs of an article and spewed some insults. Their reactions had nothing to do with the real me.

Suddenly it was like watching a little videogame character get attacked. It was funny to watch, part of the game, and not personal at all.

One way to get famous is to let others make more money, while you take the spotlight. I learned this while living in Los Angeles, when I got to know some famous Hollywood actors and realized they’re not as rich as you’d think. The richest people in Hollywood are the ones you’ve never heard of, because they’ve optimized their careers for money. They know that others are willing to take less money in return for more fame, so they profit from the other side of that deal.

I lived in Woodstock, New York for three years. There I started my company, entirely online. I never met anyone in Woodstock. I just lived there, but didn’t socialize there. My attention was focused globally, which helped my business grow quickly.

Then I lived in Portland, Oregon for three years. I worked every waking hour — super productive. I made great friends worldwide, but I never hung out in Portland. It was just my place to work and sleep. My attention was still focused globally.

Then I lived in Singapore for three years and decided to do the opposite — to get fully involved in my local community. I had an open door, said yes to every request, met with hundreds of people, and went to every event possible. I spent most of my time talking with people, and really got to know the Singapore community.

But something felt wrong. After a day of talking, I was often exhausted and unfulfilled. Two hours spent with one person who wants to “pick my brain” is two hours I could have spent making something that could be useful to the whole world, including that one person.

Then people in America started emailing to ask why I’d been so silent. No new articles? No new projects? Nothing?

So there’s the trade-off. When I’m local-focused, I may be useful to my community, but I’m not being as useful to the rest of the world.

So I’m finally admitting: I’m not local.

I used to believe that everything I did had to be 100 percent original. My old company had a competitor that offered credit card machines to musicians. Customers would tell me how much they loved that service, and even told me they wished we had it, too. But copying the competitor seemed out of the question. It took me a long time to swallow my pride and realize that I’d be doing my clients a favor if I imitated that idea. So I copied it, and it was one of the most successful things I ever did. Those little credit card machines made over $8 million for thousands of musicians.

Resources

• The Time Paradox — Philip Zimbardo
• Turning Pro — Steven Pressfield
• The Resistance — Gemma Malley
• The War of Art — Steven Pressfield
• Do the Work — Steven Pressfield
• Ego is the Enemy — Ryan Holiday
• Forever Nomad — Tynan, Rolf Potts, Derek Sivers, Leo Babauta, and Todd Iceton
• Positioning — Al Ries and Jack Trout

The Reductive Seduction Of Other People's Problems

Quote

Actions, not words, reveal our real values.

— Derek Sivers

Art is useless by definition. If it was useful, it would be a tool.

— Derek Sivers

The illiterates of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.

— Alvin Toffler

I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.

— John Cage

We don’t get wise just by adding and adding. We also need to subtract.

— Derek Sivers